Comments on: Dangerous Creatures

By: John Swindle

John Swindle — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:44:31 +0000

to a daughter’s mother
I suppose I could have been more clear. I said I do not like the possibility that I could do something horrible to another human. I will not trivialize anyone’s pain by saying that such a thing is impossible. What I hope to make clearer is this: since we don’t thoroughly know ourselves, we can’t say with certainty “I would never do a thing like that”. We can strive to be civilized.
You seem to think i disagree with your position. I think you misread my post.

By: a daughter's mother

a daughter's mother — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:43:31 +0000

to John:
None of us “deserve” rape. Few of us “deserve” murder, and to some, no one does. That’s never the point in rape. The mind is a wonderful terrible thing, and will go to great lengths to rationalize one’s own actions and prevent all sorts of psychological discomfort. (I have my personal story to illustrate that, but it’s beside the point right now. Please just accept that I do.) Rape is about power and rage and sickness of the soul. You already understand part of that. The fact that you are unwilling to accept that there may be a yet darker side to you is something I’ll leave to your own internal monologue. I will never live inside your brain. I will never know how true that is, how permanently it may last. I do not claim to judge.

Please don’t take offense that we females can envision that, generically, you can get to a point where you have a very real “up front and personal” understanding of the rest of it. Halleluia for both of us if you remain in the civilized part of your brain while whatever else is going on provokes you to stray out of it. We do not mean to offend, but that concern is not the important part of the discussion. The important part is self-defense, meaning constant awareness, and we won’t/can’t stop just to save someone’s feelings. Much more is at stake here, for us.

By: khan

khan — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:39:35 +0000

I tend to be non-violent. But I must confess there was a time when my mother-in-law was being particularly racist & nasty in general, & it did occur to me that I could pick her up & throw her out of the window,

I didn’t like the feeling, & of course I didn’t do so; but I can understand the feelings.

By: John Swindle

John Swindle — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:15:05 +0000

I felt insulted when I saw your rapist hypothesis, but there are other “not me” situations that I’ve had to admit might apply to me. I’ve seen proof of my own false memories after stating that such things would never happen. I’ve experienced road rage – another unpleasant surprise. Heck, there are parlor games designed to expose people’s ignorance of their own nature. Maybe the most we can really say about this is something like “In my present state, I couldn’t hurt anyone”. If we are forced to admit that we don’t thoroughly know ourselves, all manner of evil must be possible under certain conditions. That doesn’t mean we are okay with surrendering to it.

I think being called a potential rapist was more offensive than being called a potential murderer because I can imagine situations in which I might kill a person, and in each of them, my hypothetical victim would have deserved it.

It’s hard to imagine anyone deserving rape.

By: Dan J

Dan J — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 19:12:10 +0000

The “when crowds turn into mobs” thing is interesting. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where there are many people gathered and you get a sort of “I really don’t want to be here” kind of feeling? It’s not easy to explain, but I suppose that’s partly because it’s based on clues that we don’t consciously think about. References to “the smell of fear” make me think about situations like that.

I’ve gotten similar “creeped out” feelings from a couple individuals too. The situations were such that there was nothing consciously telling me that this was not a person I wanted to be alone with, but something in the back of my head (so to speak) was flashing a warning sign. It was definitely more of a “flight” response rather than a “fight” response. What I found interesting was when a female coworker mentioned the “creeped out” feeling she got from one of the same individuals. She asked me if I would stick around a few times so that she wouldn’t have to be alone with one of these guys at work. I managed to be able to stay close by whenever she needed.

By: becca

becca — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 17:01:33 +0000

It’s not just knowing yourself and your triggers- it’s knowing others. Especially for the whole “when crowds turn into mobs”. Or when groups of people allow groupthink (Us vs. Them) to perpetuate all kinds of evil. Those situations are tricky for me.

It’s tough, too, when it doesn’t seem to be psychological-trigger-specific so much as physiological state related (i.e. patience plummets with low sleep or no food or crazy-hormones). Because it’s harder to identify patterns there, and it’s very difficult to be aware of your body when something psychologically threatening happens.

By: Dan J

Dan J — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 14:29:20 +0000

I definitely know the feeling of the very real desire to do serious physical damage to another person. The high pulse rate, the trembling, the clenched jaw… It’s actually kinda scary. I’ve never acted on it, and I know some of the triggers. Most frequently it’s triggered while I’m driving. I really do understand what’s behind “road rage”.

I have found something that is very therapeutic for me: video games. More specifically, games like Grand Theft Auto, Assassin’s Creed, and (just out this month) Prototype. It’s nice to be able to go home and turn on one of these games where I am able to act out through a simulacrum in a totally safe way. My wife enjoys the same games immensely.